expectations are things I should not have

It’s amusing that my last post was about how stressed I was. Looking back, that was a piece of pie (I don’t like cake, therefore I have to change up the saying to fit my own situation). After I graduated and moved back in with my parents, I thought it would take a couple of days, maybe a week for me to get a job serving somewhere. There are TONS of restaurants in the DFW area, it really should not have been an issue.

Here’s the thing though. Even though I applied at somewhere in the realm of two dozen restaurants, I had five interviews. No one offered me a job. Now, I served all through college. I’ve worked at small family restaurants and at bigger corporations. I have a dadgum theatre degree and am good with people. Still, it took a month for me to realize that now matter how delicious my bait was, none of the fish were biting.

I expected a couple of different things that could happen to me in this interim period before I go to LA, and those expectations caused me to sit around waiting for something that never happened instead of moving on to something better. I ended up packing up my things again and moving in with my aunt and uncle in west Texas. The oil boom has been crazy out here and I got a job at Red Lobster 4 days after I arrived.

I guess I’m writing this to remind myself that I can plan anything I want to plan, but the likelihood that things are going to go according to that plan is almost nil. And that’s okay. It’s so okay. This is something I need to learn, to let go and live my life as it’s happening instead of sitting back and trying so hard to control every little piece of the puzzle. There are enough people out there who love me and support me that I will never go hungry. I will never be homeless. In their eyes, no matter where my life leads I will not be a failure.

I want to remember all of these things. I’m trying to focus on the blessings and not the disappointments. I can’t wait to get to California.