Here’s what I dislike the most about adult life so far:
the need to choose.
Of course there are a veritable plethora of things I could be talking about, but in this instance I’m talking about dreams. Aspirations. Desires. The wants that flit across our minds that we are only barely conscious of. I have so many, and I hate that I have to choose. There’s only so much time and money. There’s only so much of me. How do you look at all your darling hopes and tell them that some must be shelved for a while (or a lifetime) in order to make way for other things that call upon your attention?
I feel like so many people tell me about how I can still follow my dreams even on a smaller scale. In some way, I suppose they are right. There exists, however, this increasingly large part of me that resists and fights and angrily insists that if I tried to do things on a smaller scale that wouldn’t be me.
I am not a small scaled person. I attack things wide-eyed with fervor, knowing that failure looms imminent but the chance of success promises everything. I want to experience the world. I refuse to accept that I cannot.
On a completely different note, the first of many book reviews will be coming next Friday, and I’ll (hopefully) be back to my regularly scheduled programming of personal posts on Monday! I’m currently deciding how I want to set up the reviews, so next weeks will be a trial of what I think will work best. Please feel free to respond and let me know if it works or not. The first book coming up for review is:
by Gil Adamson