we have to choose

Here’s what I dislike the most about adult life so far:

the need to choose.

Of course there are a veritable plethora of things I could be talking about, but in this instance I’m talking about dreams. Aspirations. Desires. The wants that flit across our minds that we are only barely conscious of. I have so many, and I hate that I have to choose. There’s only so much time and money. There’s only so much of me. How do you look at all your darling hopes and tell them that some must be shelved for a while (or a lifetime) in order to make way for other things that call upon your attention?

I feel like so many people tell me about how I can still follow my dreams even on a smaller scale. In some way, I suppose they are right. There exists, however, this increasingly large part of me that resists and fights and angrily insists that if I tried to do things on a smaller scale that wouldn’t be me.

I am not a small scaled person. I attack things wide-eyed with fervor, knowing that failure looms imminent but the chance of success promises everything. I want to experience the world. I refuse to accept that I cannot.

On a completely different note, the first of many book reviews will be coming next Friday, and I’ll (hopefully) be back to my regularly scheduled programming of personal posts on Monday! I’m currently deciding how I want to set up the reviews, so next weeks will be a trial of what I think will work best. Please feel free to respond and let me know if it works or not. The first book coming up for review is:

The Outlander

by Gil Adamson

One thought on “we have to choose

  1. Shelby, since you invited a response I will give you my “personal” experience. When I was about 10 or 11 our family was driving to the mountains for a family day. On the way we passed the Knoxville airport (very small at that time and only prop planes) I remember seeing men getting on the airport carrying their briefcases and all wearing suits and ties. I remember thinking and even praying, Lord if I could only have a job someday tht would allow me to be travel like these people and dress up for a job it would be the answer to my prayers.
    Years later and as I neared retirement I remembered that simple prayer and realized that God first prepared me for my destination from that point to my retirement. I didn’t start out traveling in my first job, no it was working in a factory and as much as it provided food, shelter and a home for my wife and children, it was not what I had wanted as a youngster. However, working in the factory allowed me to further my education and give me a resume that allowed me to be hired to my first “outside” sales position. My only travel was by car and my sales territory was a few counties. But, because of the people I met along the way that help me to be successful I was promoted to more responsibility and traveled throughout the southern United States.
    Now we fast forward to today and even though I am retired I know that my prayers were answered because I traveled to “every state in America” and 25 foreign countries over my career. So, why would I tell you this story? Hopefully to let you know, Prayer Works, if you know what you want and have prepared yourself for your desires, it will happen. Maybe not tomorrw or even next year, remember my factory story? I had to work there for over 3 years before a small step could be taken for my desires to be realized. Here’s the bottom line; YOU decide what you want, study and work hard for it and never loose faith that “it” will happen.
    Put me in your heart and when things look the darkest remember your Papaw is right there with you for encouragement, help and love. You go girl because you CAN !!!

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